i am awake and that really sucks…

Posted: December 2, 2008 at 4:45 am

too much on my mind again i suppose.

i have a funny way of looking at things…take the cat i was talking about earlier…i don’t think her family should have kept her just because dumping her here was mean. i think they should have left her here where someone was going to look after her and make sure she was happy….they sure as heck weren’t all that interested in doing that for her.

and that beyond believable rescue thread on bringing animals up from the states or mexico to take up canadian homes was driving me insane…i quit reading it….i look at that issue differently too…if you don’t want to do it then don’t do it….no one cares….but how many ways can you not so subtly say….this is wrong, you are wrong…you are doing a very bad thing AND mostly i just don’t like you cuz you are stupid and suck…….it ALWAYS deteriorates into hidden agendas and personality conflicts.

i  told the california rescue today they could maybe send two more dogs they have asked us about… along with the parapalegic boxer…. (if they are rock solid with dogs and cats)….. they are a highly bonded  weird breed bulldog pair, brother and sister, and one has terminal mast cell cancer….i am wondering if i said yes just cuz all that judgmental, holier than thou shit bugged me on a really bad day?…knowing me? probably…my motives for doing stuff are not always pure. not that too many will call me on this because i already called myself…it takes the fun out it if i already admit to it. sigh, i am a “do what i want,”  pig headed beagle in an angelic?????? rescuers costume, …seriously gagging here.

but what i really don’t get is why is everyone else so right? why are they always so perfect? why are they the ONLY ones who “get” anything and everything? jeezus, do they think cuz they say it, we actually believe them?….i pretty much don’t “get” anything anymore and i think i am doing pretty ok (except i just said i would take in 3 more big dogs and that was not very bright). ignorance is bliss i suppose and i am woefully ignorant in this world….maybe that is why i actually like rescuing animals and do it so well, because maybe i am ignorant and stupid too.

that woman thought i got it all wrong with helping her cat, 2 and a half years ago… i am an idiot for not rescuing her cat her way, cuz her way was the right way (like she is some knowledgable rescuer and not just a user and abuser of rescue?)…the nay sayers of across the border rescue will think i got it all wrong too and i am just adding to the canadian problem…you know, the one i actually get off my ass and work to fix 24 hours a day?

the really funny thing is, the animals themselves think i mostly get it right…but then they are just stupid animals who can’t spend their time discussing with everyone else what to do,  so what do they really know about the right way to rescue anyway? they are just ignorant victims of homelessness too.

i think i can’t sleep cuz it bothers me that i obviously don’t know anything and i do this all wrong. well if this is wrong…save me from right cuz right gets talked about a lot while animals sit there and wait and die (north and south) til the talking gets done (does the talking actually ever get done??)….maybe the talking will go on and on and on and on until there are no more animals anywhere to save….now there’s a plan! there are probably some already working under this plan of no action.

so let me ask this…how many animals got actual, measurable help today and how many folks told others how they should actually measurably help those animals needing help the right way?

an enquiring mind in a bad mood in the middle of the night wants to know.

3 Comments on "i am awake and that really sucks…"

  • safeplace says

    Your sentiments on animal rescue are exactly why I will not put myself in a position of belonging or aligning with any specific group. There is too much talk and not enough action. Many groups fail or loose sight of the reason they exist. It’s all about the animals. Their health and welfare is paramount and should be foremost. Politics, infighting and egos have no place in animal rescue.

  • sandra raftery says

    Dear Carol,

    I rescued a cat from Texas. She was an absolutely adorable oriental kitten that a breeder had dumped for euthanasia at a local shelter there because the litter was “unsocialized”. I saw her face on the siamese website out of texas and called about her. She was to be “my” cat because of the instant connection I had with her. I received the same comments but a life saved is a life saved regardless of borders. They flew her up to me and she is a constant delight. I am only sorry that I cannot add to my 4 rescues but when and if I get a little bigger space, rest assured I will add some more.

  • Cindy says

    Carol, you truly are a Saint. Thank you.

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