just blabbering

Posted: April 17, 2009 at 7:44 am

i watched marley and me last night with my own crew of misfits…i laughed and i cried…and i wished our guys here had had a home that loved them from infancy, stood by them thru all of their growing up idiocy, and deeply mourned as they left this life when they were old.

maybe just that one book/movie will do more for teaching us about loyalty, responsibility, and real life long loving then all of the preaching, ad compaigns, blog entry’s that rescue desperately throws out into the world to affect so little change.

and maybe it will teach us that while loving the easy is wonderful…truly loving the pain in the asses is even a greater love.

they understood the word….family.

looks like an icky day and i took today off in exchange for working on sunday…i am locking myself in the office til i have the emails answered and all of the stuff together for the accountant for the year end….and nothing is going to get in my way!

i am thinking about ethics again and the difference between their fluid-ity depending on want or neccessity. it is weird how we view ethics…there is what we SAY is right and wrong…there is what we DO that is right or wrong…there is the right or wrong that we ASSIGN to others in our expectations and there is the EXCUSES we make to fit our proclaimed ethics into our actions or behaviors so it all works best for us.

it is like…ethically speaking…i believe in a completely nonviolent world…physically and verbally and emotionally. i think i live this every day. BUT if someone were to threaten with serious harm someone i loved…i know i would become violent in some way to protect them. fluid ethics…necessity just drove my ethics away.

if i became verbally or emotionally or physically violent to achieve something like….. power, respect, recognition, or just to hurt someone i did not like and my ethics went away while i tried to achieve this…it is more of fulfilling a want vs. a real need. i think ethics that float away for a self fulfilling reason maybe are too fluid to really be.

if i believe in the law…and yet i speed because i have a suffering dog on the way to the vet…ok…i would admit broke the law and i would probably do it again and i would pay the fine knowing i broke a law but was ok with it at the time.

but if i speed because i am in some kind of non emergency hurry and i get a ticket for that…and then i give the police officer a hard time or try to wiggle out with some kind of enlarged sob story or out right lie…i just tossed my ethics about abiding the law away.

i don’t see how i can have ethics that are based on what is most convenient or beneficial for me. when i told that lie about the ringworm..it wasn’t enough just to make sure it did not get onto the air..i had to make sure that everyone knew i lied or it just became a lie that i had conveniently and successfully hidden away….that just makes me a liar twice.

everyone knows at work that i have a fit over the mountains of useless and time consuming intricate paperwork that just keeps getting bigger and more stupidly complicated every year as the corporate mentality in health care continues to grow. they are turning nurses into bean counters and gatherers of statistics for government agencies that have nothing to do with actual nursing care. i spend more time at my desk now than i do seeing people….it is now that the form is correctly filled out and complete..it is not how good was my nursing care.  the most ridiculous of it i just ignore…but i also ignore the ones that are financially beneficial to me. with the new milage forms/cell phone claims that take 10 times more time and effort to fill out ..i just quit putting in for repayment because i would rather spend my time doing other more patient related things. i am consistent in my non compliance..i believe it has reached the point where it is the paper and forms and myraid of process that mean more than our patients care…this bugs me…ethically, i choose not to participate in this..even if it means a financial loss for me.

i am hoping to reach retirement before my noncompliance reaches an issue…and this might be happen because there is so much paper now no one is even sure anymore what is current, what was from yesterday, what is trial, or under review…except the ones whose paycheque is gathered from creating new and improved paperwork and processess year after year. they get upset when you miss filling out the newest creation because understandably, they worked hard to make it bigger and better and are proud of what they do.

10 years ago i used to see 12 patients a day in home care…yesterday and the day before i saw three….i am given equal time now…half for sick people, half for completing the process of documentation on eacxh client individually.

more paper….more process..more nurses…more money…health care is very expensive now. but 10 yrs ago, health care was better than it is today.

ok…i am just blabbering on about stuff that is bugging me.

but i almost like working better at saints now because saints is about actual care and not about paper…sigh…except today…i better go lock myself in the office and get the paper and computer stuff done.

2 Comments on "just blabbering"

  • jan says

    Dont forget to click Carol SAINTS is # 2!!!!!!!!!!

  • Heidi says

    Did you read Marley and Me, or just watch it? I actualy really liked the book until the end. I thought the family should have stayed home and not put their old dog (with a pre existing medical problem) in the kennel. Also, I didn’t like the comment the author made about the profit from the book made up for all of Marley’s damage. Or, maybe I am just jealous cause I had a Marley and her name was Nina.

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