spritely

Posted: September 18, 2009 at 2:57 pm

i cannot share with you the utter loss of today…..those who loved her here will feel their own sense of loss too. but i can tell you of how she spent her last day.

i fed and let out this morning. i wanted every second of normalacy with her. she with the horses and sheep went out into the sunshine of the upper field. the cows, carl and the goats stayed up in the riding ring where they could see what was happening. i sent ellie down below to the bottom pasture because i did not want her to witness what was to come, the 2 times she saw one of the animals sedated was too upsetting for her.

ellie spent the morning laying peacefully in the mud around the pond.

mo came early, so she and i walked the dogs, cleaned the barn and handed out apples to the horses. then nicole, zoe and meghann came and hung out at the barn with us all too. colleen, angelina, renee, and helga took good care of the animals in the house and the mp building.

when the vet arrived, we all placed ourselves near or far, to bear witness to the passing of the coppery light of saints.

my job was to place the halter on her lovely head and lead her to a soft place of grass. spritely was not interested in having a halter on, up went her tail and she trotted away. i followed, she eluded, the sun glinting off her coppery coat. hope soared, surely today might not be the day….she is so stunningly beautiful and look at her move.

i went and got more apples, and spritely came to me. i slipped her halter and lead rope on and led her over to the vet. he checked her foot, i was waiting for him to say… maybe, not today?

he said, it’s time.

i felt my chest turn to cement, i had a physical pain in my heart. he gave her a mild sedation, took her lead rope from me, gave her the final injection and with my hand still touching the side of her face, she fell to the ground.

there she lay, with the sun gleaming off her coppery self.

i think all of us were sobbing. we all said good bye to her. then we stepped back and let the horses come in to acknowledge her death.

sparkles came in first, she looked quickly and then moved on past. gideon and lahanie, seemed oblivious. we then let in percy, he went straight to her. he sniffed and then he started licking her, over and over. first her leg, then her face, next her ear, then over and over along her flank. he stepped ever closer til he was straddling her legs to reach as much of her as he could. after some time had passed we lured him away and back into the riding ring with a bowl of grain.

then gideon came close. he looked, he circled behind her. he reached down and wuffled her with his nose and then he moved away. the sheep came closer, interested and then they too moved away.

when carsons came to take her body away, lahanie reacted. he started prancing and circling. percy started bawling, leaning his head over the gate. emily and joy watched thru the wire. gideon and sparkles moved closer and all three horses started to nicker, watching intently as her body was taken away.

the reality of her loss hit lahanie, he started trotting after the truck, calling out to her. the gate closed and he started circling around, calling and calling for her. percy was still crying, gideon and sparkles occasionally called out their distress for her too.

it has been almost 5 hours since spritely left us all here. the horses are settled, percy is ok. we humans took some dogs into the memorial garden and shared a sunny afternoon, some stories, beer and food.

i have hung her windchime. i have left her some coppery flowers on our table of stones.

i have this emptiness so deep inside me that i wonder if it will ever go.

and all i want to say to spritely is how very much she was loved.

you lit up our life here, you filled our hearts so full. you were our miracle horse who finally ran out of miracles.

rest in peace spritely, your life has touched us all.

14 Comments on "spritely"

  • Beverly says

    Oh Carol so sorry (big hugs to you!) Many times your posts bring tears to my eyes but this one full out tears 🙁 Some of them just touch a person deep into the inner core of everything a person is. Thank you for being you.

  • Chris T says

    Carol – I am so sorry for your loss. I have no words of comfort. I know how much Spritely meant to you. You gave her a much longer life than she would have had otherwise. I know that when there has been time and distance from today you will know this too. You also made the most courageous decision to let her go before the pain came even if that meant you had to learn to be without her earlier. You were true to her – right until the end. Take care.

  • lynne says

    i really do not deal with the barn animals as i am in the house with the dogs, but my heart goes out to you in your sorrow and loss. i am so sorry for your loss i know how much you hoped and prayed for spritely and he was so loved. even some things are beyond your control you did all y ou could. i am sorry

  • lynne says

    sorry she is a girl was not thinking.

  • Cheryl says

    You have described this beautifully..as I sit here and weep. Having had the pleasure of meeting Spritely on a couple of occasions she was a beauty to behold. I am so sorry that this was a sad ending..but she lived in the now and knew love and gave love…that is what is important. Hugs to you all. Mo I am thinking of you so much..I know how this hurts you.

    Take care..

  • Deb says

    Spritely’s spirit will remain with SAINTS as long as there is a SAINTS and forever after. Her physical passing is heartbreaking, and my love goes to those who were there to bear witness to her death.

  • Jane Stanley says

    Namaste, Spritely.

  • Jenn says

    Barn bedtime was the not the same without you Spritely. I can still see your coppery beauty in my mind though. I saw a soft wispy cloud over the mountains in front of SAINTS on my drive up tonight. It curved up like your neck and wisped out like your mane … are you watching over SAINTS?

  • Kelly B says

    Peace to you while you grieve the loss of such a beloved horse. She was a blessing to all who knew her.

  • SteveO says

    A Sad day indeed….just take comfort in the fact that her last years were with you…and she knew she was loved…and had a great few years…..my thoughts are with you

  • Laurie V. says

    Rest in peace, Beautiful Spritely.

    My heartfelt condolences to Carol, the staff and volunteers of SAINTS.

  • Pam says

    I have no words, only tears. I’m so sorry for your loss Carol…hugs and prayers to you all.

  • Marisa says

    I thought I’d be able to handle this post so I read it at work. Stupid, stupid, I’m bawling my eyes out because, as Beverly commented, “some of them just touch a person deep into the inner core”. That’s exactly how Spritely has affected me, even from so far away.

    And, yes, I admit it…I was hoping for one more miracle.

    May all of you at SAINTS have a gentle few days to come so you can process this the very best you can.

  • Marion says

    May you Gallop pain free forever Spritely, you deserve to.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *