i can't sleep

Posted: December 9, 2011 at 5:15 am

and since i have to get up in an hour for work anyway, i think i might as well quit trying and not get all twisted up about a lost nights sleep.

i don’t know how to live in a fantasy land where i can construct walls to deafen the roar of reality. i don’t know how to shift responsibility to blame or flip the switch to ignore.

it is like being a willow tree…in some storms i can flow back and forth with the wind, waiting for the storm to blow itself out, i clean up the fallen twigs and leaves and face the next day. but i can’t pull up my roots and just walk away to a storm free zone down the street and then hike back up here to stick in my roots again when the sun comes back out.

trees aren’t supposed to be able to wander around from here to there depending on the weather…they can get lost that way.

part of the reason i survive in rescue is..my roots go deep. attached to every root is a homeless animal. i make them promises..not for just a few weeks or months or however long is convenient but for the life of the tree. i stand with the animals who are like revolving rescue doors…puff daddy, phoebe, tristie, wills and lottie. i stand with the ones that no one wants to give a chance…ed, jesse, conan, shane and mac. i stand with the ones who thought they were rescued, only to find themsleves with hoarders in worse straits then before…the rock, tess, flora, papa john. and i stand with the ones whose feet are littered with well intentioned but broken promises…and i just can’t break any more.

when did our sworn promise become open to interpetation and negotiation? when did honor and comittment become a chamelon in the beholders eye? when did words glaringly written in stone suddenly become conveniently non existent because they only apply to the rest of the world? when did right become wrong and wrong become right?

do you know why these animals are here? it is because humans can reason and think. we can always find a “but” …an “or”…we can always find an acceptable alternative somewhere instead of just admitting we just ditched our responsibility or broke our word.

we are the higher species but the animals themselves practice loyalty, they live committment. they never search for or fabricate loopholes…they don’t know how.
i didn’t make this world for them…i did not line up the their broken dreams to live over and over in their lifetimes..i just saw they needed someone to stand next to them…so i stood.

and it is too freaking late to sit back down now.

No Comments on "i can't sleep"

  • Maggie says

    Higher species? I don’t think so. There is more honesty, compassion and caring in my four legged gang than in most people I have come accross.
    Most people, as you say, always put a price on caring but not animals.
    As the saying goes…the more I see people the more I love my dog.

  • Ernie says

    Bravo Carol!

  • Bunny Horne says

    Maggie….and the more I love my cat, and that pig-Brad Pitt, and Emily, and Percy, and little Edith, Gilbert, and Chewy-kins and Ellie, and Ziggy, and….and….and….
    In my one plus year with Saints as a weekend warrior not one single animal disappointed me, broke my heart, emptied my bank account, told lies about me, or hurt me. Our animal friends are authentic – they have no hidden agenda.

  • Bunny Horne says

    Maggie and Carol, a coworker, Leia, just handed me 12 post dated cheques for the 1000-Saints program.
    If you are going to the pub night on the 16th I will turn the cheques over to you or Carol at that time.
    Thank you, Leia.

  • Penny says

    KO – I ran out of newsletters as well – need 16 more, so will make some more copies here. I will be coming up to Saints sometime today to pick up the return address labels, so if you have spare stamps, I will pick them up then. Thanks!

  • Renee says

    I Will be in at 930 today

  • Mo says

    I believe that many people aren’t really thinking life-time committment when they get a companion animal. They are thinking wouldn’t it be nice , or isn’t he/she cute, or it would be a good opportunity for their kid to learn responsiblity, or oh it will be good company for me, or good company for gramma or grandpa , or will get aunt mary out of the house & walking.. the list goes on & on…what we really need to get people thinking is.. what are all the needs of this animal & can I meet all those needs, I believe if people began the thought process with thinking about the needs of the animal they may end up not getting one..or at least get one that is more appropriate for their lifestyle & family and then perhaps it will have a home for life..and it is till a perhaps.

  • Maggie says

    Fantastic, Bunny. I will be at the pub night…see you there.

  • Kim says

    Sorry to the house volunteers…. I’ve been up most of the night and very sick. Won’t be able to make it in today (Sat). Hopefully somebody reads this, I don’t have anyones phone #…

  • lynne says

    hope you feel better soon, kim. we will be fine dont worry.

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