the theory of relativity

Posted: March 7, 2013 at 7:49 am

can’t actually remember what that was…i learned it from a school book 40 years ago. but i know what my theory of relativity is from living, not just reading.

when i had one child, i struggled, with 2 children i struggled, the third child came and i still struggled.
when i made $5 an hour i struggled, and at $10 i struggled, $20 an hour was a struggle..and now..well? i make a lot more than that and i am still struggling.
i struggled when i had a couple of senior animals..i struggled when i had a score of senior animals and i struggle with a whole freaking platoon of senior animals now.

and i honestly can’t say that struggling felt any different before as compared to how it feels now.
i didn’t really notice the increase in any struggling factor along the way..it felt just the same. i think this is because as we slowly stretch to meet each new struggling day, it just feels like a slightly bigger struggling day. we naturally grow in to it because we actually can.

however….
there is something that i have noticed over the years when i have stretched out as far as i currently have. i have noticed when things become suddenly less ..part of me feels flappingly empty and almost useless.

in the past week with snoopy’s and marg’s death, with fletch off on an adventure and angel in at the vets, my evening bedtime routine struggles are a bit less. i go thru the check in, feeding and medication motions and suddenly am done before my stretched out self feels like it is supposed to be done.
what the heck? really? i am finished..that is it? aren’t i supposed to be doing more for someone around here???

it feels totally weird.

so here is my theory of relativity.

we are built to relatively painlessly stretch as big as we can like a water balloon. and it is important not too put in so much water that eventually we burst. but when with caution we survive the stretch and fill up..we will suffer a bit of over stetched out loss when suddenly the water starts to leak or evaporate out.

i feel sort of floppy, flappy and empty. the good news is..angel comes home today..fletch may be coming home again too..maybe by tomorrow i will feel again like a fully filled up rescue water balloon.

or…
maybe i will get used to this, maybe i will suck up and firm up with a relatively tiny bit less to do.

it will still be a struggle, but it will be a struggle on the downhill instead of an up slope.

it is all relative to what you live and how each day you actually get up and go.

maybe it is not so bad being a water balloon, i have learned to go with the ebb and flow and at least i am relatively floppily flexible….

i hope.

2 Comments on "the theory of relativity"

  • Bunny Horne says

    I hear ya – loud and clear. I used to say when in challenging period of my life “I cannot wait for my life to get back to normal”. Once challenge ended and what the heck wasn’t there another one waiting for me – each seemed more daunting than the last. I finally realized that for my life “normal” seems to be a constant state of challenge and even crisis. My beloved Nana used to always say to me “don’t worry, honey, one day you will get your’s”. Thanks so much, Nana.

  • jan says

    You are so right! I get a chuckle out of folks who feel 2 dogs or cats are a lot of work, whereas here 1 moving on to new home or passed on leaves a huge hole and I feel just like you (Is that all there is to do today) Doesnt last long as someone else is sure to be waiting at the gate:-)

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