so this is how bedtime goes…

Posted: November 30, 2015 at 7:39 pm

“i will come and lick your face, your eyes, your forehead, over and over again. and you can rub my ears and pet me, but please do not forget yourself and try to kiss me because i will run away as fast as i can…but i will be back to start over again”

“you will play tug with me. You will make all of the other dogs get the heck out of my way so we can play. you will not stop playing with me until i say and that will be at least an hour and you will not let agnes steal my toy..OH MY FREAKING GOD!!! HAGGY AGGIE HAS MY TOY… GIVE IT BACK!!!!!”

“why don’t you like it when i blow my nose and your face gets wet? why do you not like it when i lick your arm until it drips? why do you not like it when my teeth poke into your skin, let me peer really close to you and ask…are you super sensitive? And i am going to steal coda bears toy the first chance that i get!”

“if those dogs don’t stop goofing around, i am going to rip out their throats.”

“we are going to play and play. we are going to run and jump all over the bed and all over the place. and when everyone gets really mad at us for playing non stop we are going to run over to you and lick your face together because we we want you to know that we are very good boys and those other dogs are bad!”

“robbie is so cute, i will hump him while he plays with pete so that he doesn’t notice.”

“i will huff and puff, cough and choke, wheeze and gasp right in your ear so you can hear me. and if you stop petting me, i will remind you to start again by sticking my tiny little foot on your eyeball.

” i am going to love you. I am going to jump over you to reach my side of the bed. I am not very good at jumping so i am going to land on your neck or your head. and i am going to kill any dog who climbs over top of you to my side of the bed and i am very sorry if i accidently bite you instead!”

sounds pretty bad doesn’t it? the worst part is this is not one incident after another…all of this goes on at the very same time…takes about an hour for the bastards to settle and sleep.

in the mean time…i need ear plugs and a goalie’s mask.

12 Comments on "so this is how bedtime goes…"

  • Penny says

    Sorry, but it sounds so funny!!!! Gave me a laugh, anyway.

  • Brenda says

    Omg Carol, you are one of a kind…..the “doggie – love – abuse” you put up with…… I laid on your bed for 10 minutes on Sunday with them and could barely stand Pete and Robbie’s constant licking of my ears and face! You are amazing…and hilarious

  • Carol says

    those two are soooo gross..and relentless!

  • alyson nerker says


  • Dionne says

    so funny!…thinks it funnier when you actually know these guys and can totally see it happening.

  • Fiona says

    Haha, how do you get any sleep?

  • Laura says

    So cool that a bunch of old wrecked dogs get to be themselves and have bedtime fun……….granted at your expense lol…..thankfully you have a big bed and an even bigger heart!

  • AnnC says

    Hey be careful what you wish for……………….Santa is listening! Hmmm ear plugs and a goalie mask?

  • Carol says

    if santa is really listening, i also need a million dollars!

  • colette says

    i laughed at every post, so thank you, thank you, i so needed that kind of release!
    i will pull this up again and again 😀

  • Lisa W says

    Haha, your description is so good that I feel like I am right there witnessing this happening. To think Tux used to be a part of that craziness…I can only imagine what his write up would be. I don’t know how you sleep! Are you a vampire???

  • Carol says

    tux would wiggly his fat little butt under the covers and velcro himself to the small of my back and then, he would not move..for anything. it was like sleeping with a fuzzy basketball shoved into my back. grhh…now i miss him. bring him back and i will gift you with…hmmm..simon, he too is black!

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