Posted: July 17, 2015 at 5:19 pm

harley3when she came in months ago..so sick and emaciated, close to deaths door..i thought ok, she is here now, we can fix this and help her feel better. and we did. sort of. we made progress, she put on weight, her blood sugars while not normal, came down enough that she felt pretty ok. she made the emotional adjustment to living here here and not on the streets. it was sad watching her progressively losing her vision, until finally she was fully blind, but Harley was a strong and positive thinker so she compensated and learned to see thru her ears and her nose…just a different way.

I know she was happy here, I know she knew she was loved and she loved right back. I know she was enjoying herself and had lots of fun. I know that Harley coming to us was good for her and good for us.

and I know I took her life somewhat for granted. I assumed she would eventually be stable and have her diabetes under control. I assumed that while her life may be shortened because the diabetes was hard on the kidneys of a very young dog, I assumed she would still have years with us because likely no one would ever offer her a home.

all of my assumptions were wrong.

Harley had exploratory surgery today and they found lymphoma of the kidney..one kidney was 4 times its normal size, the other kidney was tiny and nonviable so they couldn’t remove the sick one as she didn’t have a second one to take over. it was not pyometria which at least was fixable and offered some kind of hope, this offered no hope. I made the decision to not let her wake up again. she was so sick these past couple of days, I couldn’t let her wake up with even more added post surgical pain, on top of already feeling like crap. I couldn’t let her wake up only to end her life suffering even more. she deserved to be let peacefully go.

we didn’t get to be with her as she passed away, we didn’t get to say good bye…all we could do was still love her, knowing she was now gone.

when I got into my car to come home tonight, I could still smell the sweet, ketonic smell of Harley of the past few weeks, I started to cry as the wind flew thru the windows and slowly made her smell fade away.

rest in peace harley, I thought we could save you, I thought we could love you for much, much longer…love you and really missing you babe.

19 Comments on "harley"

  • anja peterson says

    I am so very sorry for your anguish and your loss.
    Rest in peace, Harley, somewhere up there in doggy heaven.

  • Nicolemc says

    I’m so shocked and saddened. Poor little girl.
    Hugs to you and the rest of her caregivers.

  • Penny says

    Sweet Harley, such a lovely girl. She was definitely happy at Saints. It was a joy to see her put on weight, and have fun. You gave her the gift of living the good life for a few months, Carol. She knew she was loved. Feel good now and run free now, Harley.

  • shelagh f says

    so sorry to hear about Harley, some hurt more than others

  • Brenda says

    Shit, I’m so sorry to read this – a special girl that had a touch of happiness for awhile at Saints RIP Harley

  • Ali says

    Oh man this was a hard read. I’m so, so sorry. She was such a wonderful girl. Rest in peace, Harley honey

  • Helga says

    This is hard. Sorry, Carol. Rest in peace, Harley

  • Nancy says

    Oh such very sad news…. just saw sweet Harley at the Open House, she looked so vibrant and happy, obviously well cared for and loved. You made a big difference in her quality of life, no matter how brief, but oh, what a heartbreak for you.
    Your posts always make me think……this one made me cry.
    So very sorry.

  • Cam says

    awww, so sorry carol 🙁

  • Lenore Henry says

    I am so sorry Carol to hear of the loss of Harley….rest in peace dear soul.

  • shawn says

    So full of life, so curious, and just so darn happy. …gone way too soon. RIP sweetheart

  • Wendy Scott says

    Sorry to hear about loss of Harley, she was cared for in the best way at Saints.

  • Elisabeth says

    So sorry to hear of the loss of sweet Harley….I am in tears…!

  • AnnC says

    Sweet dreams Harley…………big hugs to you Carol

  • Mo says

    RIP Harley..so sorry

  • Laura says

    Sh*t such sad news….always the question why so much dealt to some…..
    Harley was such an amazing girl…glad I met her. RIP

  • Nicole says

    Very big hugs to you Carol! Your sorrow is shared among many, but you are the heart of SAINTS – Harley couldn’t have had a better last few months than those she spent with you, the volunteers, and your huge furry family.

  • im so sorry life is just not fair rip harley

  • Linda Ciccozzi says

    I am really taken back by the sudden passing of dear Harley! Since my volunteer days at Saints started I have been so happy that all the animals that were expected to not make it are all still alive and enjoying there days. It must be all the love and care surrounding them.
    So sorry Carol!
    RIP Harley

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