on the road to rescue

Posted: August 28, 2016 at 6:27 pm

some times, some nice folks think i am kind of special.
i am special alright.
here two rescue stories that i was attempting to be involved with that didn’t go quite as planned.
the first story is from about 10 years ago so some of you may have heard it before…

i was driving home from maple ridge..not sure what i was doing…maybe coming home from work? i really don’t remember anymore.
but i remember the rescue.

it was a damn lizard, frozen in fear in the middle of the road. i am not a huge fan of lizards, they are too prehistoric for me. i am more comfortable with feathers and fur than i am with slitty eyes and scales.
but whatever…the little cold blooded turd was about to be squished.
i pulled over and grabbed a macdonalds bag to put over my hand so i could grab him because i did not want to have to actually touch him.
(and for you folks who make fun of my car..sometimes the garbage is helpful in rescue!)
i dodged oncoming cars. made it to him, grabbed him and discovered that bastard was rubber.
i rescued a child’s toy.
10 years later the nurses i work with still have the “i rescue lizards” picture posted above my desk.

it sucks to be famous and it sucks to be stupid.

the second story is from a couple of weeks ago and i actually do still remember what i was doing on that road.
i was coming home after a couple of relaxing hours at the cottage and in a vast hay field i saw two things…the first was a butt ugly chicken and the second was a magnificent bald eagle slowly hopping towards the butt ugly bird.
shit..the chicken was looking the other way and that eagle was sneaking up and going to eat her.
i pull over, get out of the car and trot over to rescue her.
the eagle got spooked and took off with a skunk in it’s talons and the butt ugly chicken turned to look at me.
it was a wild turkey vulture..probably considering stealing the eagles lunch.
thoroughly disgusted with my visually impaired self, i returned to the car feeling sorry for the poor little skunk.

the moral of the story is…the road to THIS rescue is paved with the occasional mistaken identity.

i should have tried to save the poor damn skunk!

3 Comments on "on the road to rescue"

  • roff says

    There’s working material for a TV sitcom among these memories. Keep it up!

  • Carol A. says

    what a story teller you are! thank you for making me smile tonight!

  • Lisa says

    I can relate.
    We often get calls for a stray chinchilla and “the supposed. Chinchilla” actually turns out to be a pack rat.
    I once met a guy from whisper who drove it down at 1am in the morning. I drive down to coal harbor to meet him, i take a peek into the cage and there is a pack rat 😛
    So I had to over night it and get it to wildlife rescue in the morning.
    Pack rats are mistaken for chinchillas as they have really bushy tails.

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